If you identify as a straight woman, it’s likely you’ve been conditioned your whole life to make sure that your male partner is enjoying themselves in the bedroom. And although it is important that sex is enjoyable for all involved, it’s just as important to ensure that you are having a pleasurable time, too. Sex is, after all, a two (or three, or four, or more) person affair. Everyone’s pleasure and comfortability should be at the forefront. Thankfully,there are plenty of sex tips to make it delightful for everyone involved.
The majority of the tips focus on the moments before and after sex, and with the goal of strengthening communication between sex partners. Of course, there are tips that can be used during sex as well, including checking in with your partner periodically and sharing what you like, and don’t like, as you and your partner(s) are in the throes.
From ensuring consent before and during sex, to experimenting with toys and lubes, here are the best sex tips to make sure things are great for everyone:
Talk about sex.
That doesn’t mean that you should just up your dirty talk and call it a day (although that can definitely be fun). Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Astroglide’s resident sexologist, tells Woman’s Day that you should be talking about sex before, during, and after the deed. “Research suggests that when you talk about sex during sex, you experience higher levels of self-esteem and satisfaction,” she says.
sex tips for women talk about sex
Don’t just talk about fantasies. Talk about what sex means, how important sex is, and what you want from sex.
TANYA CONSTANTINE
These conversations don’t have to simply focus on what feels good, either. You should be talking about sex as a noun instead of a verb, O’Reilly explains. So instead of asking about your partner’s fantasies, ask them questions like this: What does sex mean to you? How important is sex to you? How often do you want to have sex? How do you want to feel before, during, and after sex? And of course, these conversations should also focus on establishing consent before and during sex, especially if you’re interested in trying something new with your partner(s). No one can have a great time if they’re not a completely comfortable, willing participate
Build anticipation.
While most people consider anticipation to be the sexy tease that eventually leads to a big climax, O’Reilly says that’s not entirely true. “Anticipation is not the precursor to pleasure. Anticipation is pleasure,” she says. “If you go straight for the goods, you will both miss out on this important stage of pleasure.” In other words, it’s important to take your time.
Instead of going to the spot that you know will drive you and your partner wild first, O’Reilly says to just suggest you’ll get there. “By alluding to what you’re going to do with your words, body language, and teasing touch, you build sexual energy and desire that mounts into a more climatic response.” In fact, research shows that dopamine, a chemical associated with reward and pleasure, is released as soon as we begin to anticipate a reward — not just when you receive it. “This is why planning a vacation is often more exciting and pleasurable than the trip itself, and why dopamine levels can rise dramatically when we dream of future plans like retirement.”
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